STAGE 2. BAD DAYS, JEALOUSY, AND LACK OF FAITH!
It’s interesting that the devil knows when you’re about to tell your testimony. In the midsts of writing this blog post, the enemy thought it would be cute to attack my mind. I went through this stage YET AGAIN, after feeling so happy and free! Sometimes these stages can be a cycle, and THAT’S OKAY! It is 100% okay to not be okay all the time. I just make sure to attack my feelings head on, so that I am constantly moving forward.
Stage 2 for me, has always been a difficult time. This is around the time that I am free from thinking about my exes, I am ready for the future, and doubt starts to sink in. Stage 2 looks a little like this for me:
Step 1: I get crazy thoughts running through my head like, “See, you’re single again. The lord probably doesn’t even remember you’re waiting. So and So doesn’t have to wait, but look at you. You are never getting married. You are lacking in certain areas, what makes you think you’re ready? It MAY happen when you’re older, but only if you’re lucky.” I’m here to tell you all that these are SICK THOUGHTS from the enemy himself. But these thoughts usually lead to step 2, the jealous stage.
Step 2: Why not me? Wheres my blessing? So and so didn’t have to wait, but I do? I can’t express this enough, DON’T COMPARE YOUR JOURNEY!!! A wise lady once told me, if you want to compare and complain about someone else’s blessing, then imagine you having to trade your entire life in for theirs, including their heartaches and struggles, just to get it the same way, at the same time, that they did. God knows what we can and can’t handle, and he created a unique journey for each of us! This really made me think. I would never trade in my parents, my job, my experiences, NOTHING, just to obtain this blessing faster.
So, what do I do when my faith is gone!? What do I do when I’m facing bad days? Here are a few things that I have learned to do, to get my head space back.
First things first, I HAVE to get back in with God. So once I scream and cry out to God, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, I usually will google scriptures about waiting and faith. Next, I text or call my girl friends and tell them to pray for me and with me. Then, I listen to a sermon on faith and waiting. I find that when I dig in the Bible or do a personal bible study I feel a sense of relief. Showing God I am willing to fight and trust him on my hardest days, boosts my confidence and shows the enemy I’m not falling for his games. Once I spend my time with God I will often journal, plan a happy hour or brunch with my girl friends or my momma. Plan a small girls trip, watch my favorite movies, listen to gospel music OR Beyonce, whatever mood I want to be in. Lol And of course SHOPPING, because retail therapy is key, duh! haha . Next up, lets dive into abstaining from sex!
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